Approximately
thirteen minutes reading time
“…
I’m also not going to go through life with one hand tied behind my back.”
James Dean
Hello and welcome to another
Sunday. Thank you for joining me. I hope that your week has been a good one.
What a week, I am thrilled that I
have survived this week and well, considering that I wasn’t sure how or if I
would. The Sun is shining brightly and warm today, which brings me joy. Schrodie
and I had a fabulous walk, as always. There were people everywhere having
picnics, playing, out and about enjoying a lovely Summer day. The scents of
Summer filled us with joy as the perfume from gardens and the bush delighted us
and proving, as always, to be a salve for a hard time filled with unbelievable
and unbearable challenges. Gardens are being tended and lawns mowed so the
scent of freshly mowed lawns fills the air. For me this is heaven. Flowers are
abundant and a showcase of colour, form and texture and truly wonderful. We
stop frequently to look, smell and touch as we walk, enjoying it all. The rain
sustains the gardens and us all. In particular it means no bush fires for which
I am always grateful. We have had much cold weather with intermittent warmth. ‘Tis
a strange time and Summer indeed.
Well as you know I’ve been pushed
up against the wall by my current situation. Homelessness looms and is a very
real possibility for me. I have been forced to make some really tough decisions
to deal with the builders as they continue to draw out my bushfire rebuild which
is now over a year, and my uncertain future. Although there is not much that I
can control in my life at present, I have identified my options and choices.
Carefully I have considered the fallout from each and decisions have been
taken.
On Monday I emailed the Site Manager and the Office to
get a status update on my build. I heard nothing until Tuesday morning when the
Site Manager called me. We had a good chat. He and his family were recovering
from Covid Omicron, fortunately they are all well. He is working from home. He
told me that my home was scheduled for practical completion on 9th February
2022, too late for me. I asked if they were installing my fireplace as per
their mistake on the Contract Plan and he hesitatingly said no. I know that the
decision is not his. I had a feeling this would happen but I needed to know
where I stand and information is always withheld. He said that he would
prioritise the build. I thanked him and explained that I need somewhere to
store my belongings even if it means that I am forced to live in my car. He
said that we’d work something out. This is not good enough for me but other
builds seem to be more important. They took my money, told me constantly from
10th January 2020 that my bushfire rebuild would be a priority. This
was supposed to be a maximum a nine month build, prioritised to six months, from the Contract signing which means
that I was supposed to be home on 18th September 2020. I also
received an email telling me that my home does not need to be completed until
March. This is not acceptable in any capacity. I will no longer deal with these
people and their pettiness, arrogance and ignorance.
My options are (a) do nothing and let them continue to
waste my life and put me in danger now and in the future. They have put my life
in peril and my future in jeopardy in so many ways. (b) fight like hell to go
home and get appropriate resolutions. (a) is not an option. I have taken the
path of least resistance because of my health and well being but I can do this
no more. (b) is what I must do but the question is how? What is my best option?
I don’t trust the builders. I have legal recourse but this will delay the build
and my return home so this must wait. Media is an option but probably won’t
help me get home. Once again I am left to my own devices. I hear Mummy telling
me “if you want something done, do it yourself” so here I go, again.
I drafted an email to the CEO and one of the Senior
Executive Team whose grandfather started the Company. I was curt, reasonable and scathing in my three thousand five
hundred words, highlighting the most pressing issues. I outlined the facts and
let it be known that I understand all the implications of what has happened
throughout this build and the fallout for their company. My outrage and
displeasure was obvious. I am not prepared to negotiate anymore as I have had
enough. As my grandfather used to say “Enough is Enough!”. I am at the end of
my tether with these people. I explained what I wanted from them and when. At about
5pm Wednesday I received a warm, friendly reply from the CEO. He thanked me for
bringing this matter to his attention and apologised for my poor experience
with Masterton. He told me that he would follow up on my build and had referred
it to the Head of Construction who would call me directly. He told me that they
would endeavour to get me home as soon as practicable. So far, I have heard
nothing from anyone. I believe that the CEO understood that I am an
intelligent, educated woman who will not let this go. I hope so. Otherwise, he is being patronizing and condescending, trying to placate an angry woman and brush me off, which I hope is not the case. We will see as time will make this clear. The point of no return
has well and truly passed. My preference is to keep this situation amicable for
appropriate and acceptable resolution but I am prepared for the alternative. I
will not roll over. I fear nobody. What they have done to me is beyond unconscionable and beyond reprehensible.
I think the CEO understands the gravity of my
situation for us all. I hope so. Regardless my path is set.
In the Event my house is not ready, I will take my
belongings home and stand guard over them. They can call the Police. In fact I
hope they do. I will call the National Media and we will see what happens. I am
prepared to be arrested and charged but I will stand my ground. I will go home.
I am prepared to take as much action as necessary. I will make certain that the
Building Industry does not do this to anyone else. They will learn that they
are in fact accountable for everything that they do. Since taking these
decisions I am feeling better psychologically. This has all taken such a
terrible toll on me in every way. This situation was entirely avoidable. I have
stepped fully into my power. I am doing all that I can in this situation. Four
weeks was ample time for them to finish my house but now there are three weeks.
I have withheld sending my story to the media yet. I realise that due to
advertising revenue they might not be interested, which is fine.
Now, I wait, which is in fact the hardest thing for me
to do.
I can’t arrange fencing, concreting, landscaping or
anything else until I know when I will be home to accept deliveries. The fridge
I wanted and needed is no longer available. My option now is to spend an
additional two and a half thousand dollars for a smaller fridge. Needing to
store ten boxes of insulin, sometimes fifteen in my fridge takes up a lot of
fridge space. Living in the country I cannot take chances with running out of
insulin. Fridge size matters greatly to me. So does every cent. I can’t buy my
curtain rods, lights, nothing. This will impact how I live until I have curtains
and privacy. I am horrified and appalled that they have done this to me.
I have decided on temporary chicken wire fencing with
star picket posts that I will install, myself, not easily to close off my back
yard so that Schrodie is secure and safe. I have no idea how I will manage. I
think I’ll film it and start my YouTube Channel. My friend is coming down from
Sydney to help me move the wooden pallets and six palates of bricks to the back
yard so that the builders can level the land. Otherwise it becomes another
expensive problem with which I must deal when I have already paid them. I told
him that the grass is super tall and we must wear long pants, long sleeves, gloves
and boots, in case of bugs and worse case scenario snakes. I pray there are no
snakes. I only ever saw one massive snake and called the Snake Catcher back in
2016. I still can’t believe it. What a bizarre experience that was for me.
Suvie my beautiful Cayuga duck and Schrodie let me know it was passing across
the back door along the house. This is a major reason I am having screen doors
on my house. My sister told me that they are very old fashioned. I do not care!
This is a story for another time. These are some of the many glamorous details
about a tree-change that you never hear…sarcasm in case you missed it.
Wonderfully, this week I learned that two of my poems were
selected for a major international publication, a poetry anthology. I am
delighted and very proud. So far, that is five poetry anthologies in which I
have been published in less than a year.
On Tuesday afternoon I was taking out the garbage and
slipped on one of the sandstone rocks. In the middle of the night my left leg
and knee were excruciating. All of Wednesday I was in terrible pain. Thursday I
was okay then Friday the pain was excruciating again. I was lucky enough to get an appointment with my
Physiotherapist. My knee and ankle are alright and there seems to be no permanent
damage. Anne taped up my leg, gave me some exercises which help. I pulled the
muscle in my lower back and tendon and it is pressing on the sciatic nerve. Apparently
the fact that I am so flexible will mean a longer recovery but I will recover.
I am still walking every day with Schrodie when the weather permits and the
rain stops. I slipped in the mud while walking through the bush yesterday. We
were leaving as it was too wet, too sludgy and too slippery. My friend irony
stays with me. Thankfully I didn’t hurt myself but I stunk and was covered in
mud whilst we finished our walk. My phone had fallen out of my pocket so we
returned and luckily I found it.
Since hurting myself we are dancing to three songs a
day, which is fun. I feel my bicep aching in my right arm, my weaker arm. It’s
a good thing. Johnny and I are getting reacquainted after weeks apart. My
playing is terrible but slowly improving once again. I feel that it is helping
build up my hand muscles as my fingers hurt and ache after playing, as do my
hands in general. This is very good. My left thumb has been a trigger thumb for
a few weeks and hurting. I noted that holding the guitar neck aggravates this
but I am hoping these are all good signs. My hands look better. The muscles
seem to be stronger and are slowly filling some of the empty spaces in my hands
between the bones, ligaments and other parts of my hands.
Eating and sleeping are almost non-existent. Today I
made some gyoza, Japanese dumplings. I love dumplings. Gyoza are my favourite.
They’re frozen and pretty good. It’s the only brand I like. I don’t have the
energy or the inclination to cook or eat. I expect this to improve once we
return home. I bought some steamed basmati rice as a treat for Schrodie, from Woollies.
Today I opened it to give him some and it seems to have what looks like blood throughout it,
covering some of the rice. Initially I thought it was the brown stain sometimes
on rice but it looked red. Outside in the sunshine it looks red. The closer the
rice gets to room temperature, the more red it appears. Schrodie missed out on
his treat. I’ll make some calls tomorrow. I talked to my friend who said definitely
make the calls. It’s revolting and dangerous. Someone probably had a weeping
cut whilst cooking the rice. I’m surprised I didn’t vomit. The advice said
store it in the fridge in a bag. I’ll never buy anything like that again. Yuk!!!
This week we have had plenty of fog and mist in the
mornings up until mid-morning and once or twice throughout the day. I love mist,
fog too. Although I do not like to be out in it, especially driving. For me,
there is a magic in mist and fog. I have always thought them to be a veil
between the worlds. That they are portals to the Otherworld. Where magic,
mystery and mischief abound, hidden but
sensed. It is dramatic and kind of romantic for me. This was a lovely bonus
this week.
A few times this week I have had conversations with
various people about living, most importantly living well. My eight year old
nephew surprised me when we were chatting about Star Wars and Princess Leia. He
makes tremendous films and one was of himself with his sister on a Star Wars
Starship. They both had light sabres, how I love a light sabre and always
wanted one. I had swords but not a light sabre, perhaps when I go home. I
always play with the kids ones and some of them are really cool, especially
with sound. This prompted a conversation about Princess Leia and he knew that she’d
died, Carrie Fisher. Three days after his Grandmother. This sparked our
conversation about life and death, most especially living. Our conversation was
very unexpected. We talked about how our only guarantee when we are born is
that we die. We don’t know when, where or how and need not be afraid of this as
it teaches us that living every day as best as possible matters, more than
anything else. We discussed fear and how it will rob you of your life, if you let
it. Living is what matters, Life is for Living! In the words of my Hero Jon Bon
Jovi “I’ll live while I’m alive and sleep when I’m dead” this leaves no room
for fear. Danger lurks everywhere in life which must not be ignored but like
everything in life, it must be controlled, tempered wherever and whenever
possible. We aim to live every day the best we can and live our dreams,
otherwise what is the point? This conversation arose a few other times this week,
strangely. James Dean’s words come to mind as this is exactly how I feel about
life and living. I believe in living fully and freely for the maximum
experience of joy, happiness, satisfaction and fulfillment. As such I will not
live with one hand tied behind my back. This is my choice, always!
This is what I do now, once again, push through fear. To
paraphrase my friend, these bastards think that because I don’t have a dick
dangling between my legs, they can do to me, as they please. So true. Fuck You!
Fuck You! Fuck You! People are too quick to stereotype and pass judgement on
others. They can think what they like. What other’s think doesn’t matter to me. I have lived more than a full life. I don’t need to talk about
myself and my life and I don’t need external validation or attention. My
business is my own. I only share this experience since 5th January 2020 since
the Black Summer Bushfire stole my life in the hope that it might help others,
as I have been told countless times by so many. I hope so. Else, I would never
do this at all.
I know at least a dozen people with Covid Omicron or
who are recovering. Everyone keeps mainly away from potential hazards and wear
masks when they are out but they still got it. They’ve all been double vaccinated.
Thankfully they are all okay, children especially. I got an alert from Service
NSW that I may have been in contact with someone with active Covid on 30th
December 2021 in the ten minutes I was at a shop, away from home. I didn’t get
symptomatic or sick, gratefully. I need to book in for my booster shot. My
friend and I had it at the same time and he’s booked his booster and reminded
me.
This week’s trivia was fun. We didn’t win but we won
beer and had fun. It was good to be out again.
I have so much to do and my workload is ever increasing.
One step at a time Theodora. One breath at a time. There is much playing for us
to do as well and much fun to be had. This is necessary to counter the rest.
“Man! I Feel Like A Woman” Shania Twain’s
fabulous hit is this week’s ‘Song of the Week’. I love this song. I love it’s
power, it’s energy, it’s message and it’s such great, fun music, regardless of
the genre. It is how I am feeling at the moment. Shania Twain is a hot, sexy,
talented woman and I am a long time fan. I hope that you enjoy this song as
much as I do, always.
Take care
and stay safe.
These are
some of the highlights of this week. Thank you for your company. As always, I
hope that you leave Schrodie’s Mummy feeling a little better than when you
arrived. I hope that by sharing my journey this helps you with yours in some
way. Stay strong and hang in there no matter what trauma, challenges or
adversity that you face. Celebrate every Joy! Celebrate every Win! No matter
how small, they matter, much. I hope that my posts and pages help you in some
way, interest you, make you smile or laugh. Most especially may these and your
visits to Schrodie’s Mummy inspire and motivate you upon your journey. This is
the only reason that I share this with you.
Do one
small thing every day that makes you laugh and something to put joy in your
heart and sustain you on your path. Please refer anyone who you believe will
benefit from visiting us here at Schrodie’s Mummy.
I will
post on Sunday, or as close to, as life allows. Pages will be posted on
Wednesday and Friday.
Thank you for your understanding and support. I still
cannot believe how many of you find me, organically, as I learn to do this in
the hope that I can show you to keep pushing through whatever you face and not
give up. The light is always there, no matter how dim or how much you need to
squint to see it during the darkest times. Love and Joy are also lurking in the
dark and in the shadows, every, single, day. Keep your eyes peeled. I am. This
is the only reason I share anything at all. Helping anyone else, in any way,
this is my Silver Lining which makes the unbelievable horrors, tragedies and
more that I have faced and survived since the Black Summer Bushfire stole my
life on the 5th January 2020, more than tragedies. If I can survive
it all, so can you! Believe it! Know it! Live it!
Bye for
now.
Until
next time.
Watch
this space…
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